Thanks for the thought-provoking comments. . I think there are plenty of women who desire affection, well-above financial incentive, and disconnected from it entirely.

As expressed, I find being with a married man difficult because there’s nowhere deeper the relationship can go. Often if someone genuinely cares, they will eventually want “more” from the dynamic. And that’s where the messiness and complexity comes in. Even though I didn’t want ot date this guy, I did (and still do) genuinely care for him, which is also why my place in the dynamic felt wrong (despite trying to convince myself that maybe he would be a better husband to his wife and kids when he got home).

That said, maybe a woman who is more inclined to sleep with a married man would have to have another incentive, beyond affection like you expressed. So perhaps your experiences are a result of the people who opt in in the first place. Not a judgement at all, rather a circumstantial construct.