Thanks for sharing! I think it's definitely born in us at a young age that men should pay on a first date, but for me, it's not about who actually ends up paying, it's about the "offer" to pay.

If the guy says he will take it, and i insist we split it (or vice versa) and we do, that's good.

If the guy says he will take it, and i insist we split it and he still takes it, that's good.

However, If he insists we split it before or when the check comes out, it tells me somthing about where we stand. Splitting feels transactional. If we split it (and neither of us offer to take the whole thing), chances are, the date didn't go well, and we aren't seeing each other romantically again.

It's not about the money, but how we interpret the time that we spent together. Maybe subconsiously it's also how I measure EQ/and our compatibility.